Substance – 5-MeO-DMT
Experience – Second time
Setting – my basement
August 9th, 2003
My first time sampling 5-MeO-DMT was strange. I felt an intense physical rush, but barely any mental change. Also, my dose was 2mg which I’m sure played a part in the mildness of the experience. I have been putting off retrying it for some time, because even though the effects were anything but frightening, I had no idea what higher doses might hold. I have been told that DMT and 5-MeO-DMT are not just drugs, but that they are doors. I hoped to see where these “doors” would lead.
While I feel that 2mg is a good way to increase for most chemicals, tonight I decided to jump up to 6mg. I was hoping for the intense breakthrough experience I had read so much about. I finally got up enough courage to take on this chemical again.
I was in my house with “R” watching over me. After reading of 5-MeO-DMT’s effects, she become frightened for me and insisted on being my “sober sitter”. I did not object, of course, as I trust her to no end.
I carefully weighed out 6mg of 5-MeO-DMT and placed in on a piece of tin foil. I checked the clock before flicking my lighter. It was exactly 11:54 PM as the drug vaporized and shot up into the air, where I collected it with an upside down funnel, and directed it into my lungs. The taste, as I said last time, was not too bad, though definitely not pleasant. The burn however was bad, and my tongue took notice. I held the smoke until I needed to take a breath, and I blew out a small cloud of white smoke.
Within seconds I could feel the effects. I felt a strong physical rush, which felt amazing. I also began shaking which I had expected. R seems frightened by this, but I had enough time to assure her I would be okay, and then things really hit me.
I looked in front of me and saw a couch. I let my eyes go left and right rapidly, taking the last clear look at the room. My vision then took on a weird look, which I can only describe as if I had eyes on every inch of my head. Everything in the room was visible at once. I closed my eyes to see what would happen. Everything remained just as it had, for a moment. It all then rushed into me. The couch, the TV, the computer, R, everything in the room was getting sucked into me as though I was the center of gravity in the universe. I had become a black hole. I felt an intense surge of power as everything was seeming to collapse onto me.
Through this time I felt no fear, but an incredible sense of power. I was the most powerful being in the universe. Everything that was rushing into me was paying homage. It was a beautiful feeling. Everything was acknowledging me as a wonderful being. As things were visiting me faster, and I was beginning to make sense of it though, it started to fade.
I pleaded with the universe to allow me to remain the center for just another moment, just another second. I wanted to see what was over the crest of the wave I was riding. Unfortunately though, I came down almost as fast as I came up. The world was retracting from me, saying goodbye as it left. I was disappointed, but far from sad.
After a few moments I opened my eyes, feeling as though I was having +2 psychedelic experience. I was able to talk to R at this point. She asked what it was like, but I couldn’t possibly explain then. I needed time to reflect. The time was 12:06 AM.
Over the next 20 minutes, I completely sobered up. By 12:30 AM I was feeling fine, and went online as if it had been any other night. Though tonight, I had a lot to think about.
5-MeO-DMT once again proved to be very strange. The effects were amazing. At no point, even when I was the densest point in the universe, did I feel any fear. The whole trip had a sense of well-being accompanying it. Despite how out of control I felt, I never had the slightest fear.
Unfortunately for me, this time 5-MeO-DMT again let me down. I was riding that wave, waiting to see what was at the height of it, yet I fell before I hit it. The only way I can describe it for easy understanding is quite crude. It would be compared to almost achieving an orgasm, and then stopping all activity. You know more can happen, but it doesn’t. I know there was something more waiting for me. And I couldn’t quite reach it. Of course, perhaps, this is how the drug is always going to act in me, leaving things unresolved. I hope this isn’t the case.
I think next time I’ll try 8-10mg. I’ll keep adding until I find that magical dose. Maybe that will give me the experience I am seeking.