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Substance – 5-MeO-DMT
Experience – Second time
Setting – my basement
August 9th, 2003
My first time sampling 5-MeO-DMT was strange. I felt an intense physical rush,
but barely any mental change. Also, my dose was 2mg which I’m sure played a part
in the mildness of the experience. I have been putting off retrying it for some
time, because even though the effects were anything but frightening, I had no
idea what higher doses might hold. I have been told that DMT and 5-MeO-DMT are
not just drugs, but that they are doors. I hoped to see where these “doors”
would lead.
While I feel that 2mg is a good way to increase for most chemicals, tonight I
decided to jump up to 6mg. I was hoping for the intense breakthrough experience
I had read so much about. I finally got up enough courage to take on this
chemical again.
I was in my house with “R” watching over me. After reading of 5-MeO-DMT’s
effects, she become frightened for me and insisted on being my “sober sitter”. I
did not object, of course, as I trust her to no end.
I carefully weighed out 6mg of 5-MeO-DMT and placed in on a piece of tin foil. I
checked the clock before flicking my lighter. It was exactly 11:54 PM as the
drug vaporized and shot up into the air, where I collected it with an upside
down funnel, and directed it into my lungs. The taste, as I said last time, was
not too bad, though definitely not pleasant. The burn however was bad, and my
tongue took notice. I held the smoke until I needed to take a breath, and I blew
out a small cloud of white smoke.
Within seconds I could feel the effects. I felt a strong physical rush, which
felt amazing. I also began shaking which I had expected. R seems frightened by
this, but I had enough time to assure her I would be okay, and then things
really hit me.
I looked in front of me and saw a couch. I let my eyes go left and right
rapidly, taking the last clear look at the room. My vision then took on a weird
look, which I can only describe as if I had eyes on every inch of my head.
Everything in the room was visible at once. I closed my eyes to see what would
happen. Everything remained just as it had, for a moment. It all then rushed
into me. The couch, the TV, the computer, R, everything in the room was getting
sucked into me as though I was the center of gravity in the universe. I had
become a black hole. I felt an intense surge of power as everything was seeming
to collapse onto me.
Through this time I felt no fear, but an incredible sense of power. I was the
most powerful being in the universe. Everything that was rushing into me was
paying homage. It was a beautiful feeling. Everything was acknowledging me as a
wonderful being. As things were visiting me faster, and I was beginning to make
sense of it though, it started to fade.
I pleaded with the universe to allow me to remain the center for just another
moment, just another second. I wanted to see what was over the crest of the wave
I was riding. Unfortunately though, I came down almost as fast as I came up. The
world was retracting from me, saying goodbye as it left. I was disappointed, but
far from sad.
After a few moments I opened my eyes, feeling as though I was having +2
psychedelic experience. I was able to talk to R at this point. She asked what it
was like, but I couldn’t possibly explain then. I needed time to reflect. The
time was 12:06 AM.
Over the next 20 minutes, I completely sobered up. By 12:30 AM I was feeling
fine, and went online as if it had been any other night. Though tonight, I had a
lot to think about.
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5-MeO-DMT once again proved to be very strange. The effects were amazing. At no
point, even when I was the densest point in the universe, did I feel any fear.
The whole trip had a sense of well-being accompanying it. Despite how out of
control I felt, I never had the slightest fear.
Unfortunately for me, this time 5-MeO-DMT again let me down. I was riding that
wave, waiting to see what was at the height of it, yet I fell before I hit it.
The only way I can describe it for easy understanding is quite crude. It would
be compared to almost achieving an orgasm, and then stopping all activity. You
know more can happen, but it doesn’t. I know there was something more waiting
for me. And I couldn’t quite reach it. Of course, perhaps, this is how the drug
is always going to act in me, leaving things unresolved. I hope this isn’t the
case.
I think next time I’ll try 8-10mg. I’ll keep adding until I find that magical
dose. Maybe that will give me the experience I am seeking.